Why Am I So Lonely? 9 Possible Reasons Why — Talkspace



Printed on: 18 Oct 2023

Why You May Feel So Lonely

Loneliness is a common human emotion, one thing that everybody experiences at one level or one other in life. Although it’s regular, feeling lonely generally is a devastating, crushing expertise.

In the event you’ve ever felt so lonely that it’s affecting your life, social relationships, job, or skill to perform, it’s time to get assist. Extreme loneliness can result in extra vital points, like despair, nervousness, or, in excessive instances, ideas of suicide. 

Realizing why you are feeling so lonely is important to beat your emotions and discover methods to attach with others. Once you perceive the foundation explanation for your loneliness, you can begin implementing efficient coping instruments. 

Be taught in regards to the frequent causes of loneliness and the way to handle them right here. 

1. Lack of Significant Connections

Not having deep connections or significant relationships with others can severely affect psychological well-being, and feeling lonely typically stems from an absence of those connections. Folks typically really feel lonely in college as they navigate new crowds of individuals they don’t know. It’s not often in regards to the variety of individuals you already know, and usually extra about how vital your relationships are. 

Even in a big social setting or crowd, individuals can nonetheless really feel remoted. This phenomenon is called perceived social isolation, and it may well happen anytime you’re bodily current with others however don’t really feel linked on both an emotional or an mental stage. 

2. Social Anxiousness & Shyness

Social nervousness and shyness will be the wrongdoer for emotions of loneliness. 

Social anxiety can stop you from forming lasting relationships all through life. The situation is about greater than being shy, although — social nervousness manifests as a profound, paralyzing concern of social interactions and conditions that’s so extreme that it may well result in avoidant behaviors, particularly in social actions. 

“People with social nervousness are at better danger for loneliness. Emotions of loneliness could also be attributable to an absence of interpersonal relationships, bodily isolation, and divorce.”

Talkspace therapist Dr. Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW 

3. Lack of Cherished Ones

Shedding a liked one can create a void that finally results in loneliness. Loss and grief can intensely affect psychological well-being, and it’s not unusual to really feel excessive loneliness when somebody near you is now not in your life.

4. Relocation 

Relocating to a brand new place generally is a catalyst for loneliness for some individuals. Whereas shifting will be thrilling, feeling lonely is frequent if you happen to can’t set up a robust social reference to individuals in your new setting.

5. Lack of Hobbies or Shared Pursuits

The feeling of loneliness can take over each side of your world. It might probably depart you with out the need or power to take a position time into hobbies or shared pursuits — issues that may be capable to convey you pleasure and provide help to foster connections. With out having hobbies, you would possibly really feel additional remoted from others.

6. Life Transitions & Ageing

The journey by way of life and getting old can result in emotions of loneliness. Each main life transition we expertise later in life — from retirement to dropping individuals, to kids rising up and leaving residence, to going by way of or watching family members battle severe well being issues — can all convey a few sense of loneliness as you come to phrases with the truth that your life is progressing.

7. Psychological Well being Situations

Psychological well being circumstances like nervousness and despair can feed the cycle of persistent loneliness. Studies show that loneliness will increase the chance of despair and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). 

8. The Isolating Feeling of the Digital Age

Expertise and the digital age provide vital advantages relating to connectivity and entry to others. But, for all its good, some elements of the digital age, like social media, are recognized to extend emotions of loneliness. As a substitute of collaborating in social actions and creating significant relationships, youthful individuals and older adults, spend extra time behind a display screen.

Research shows us that extended use of social media is likely to be linked to signs of despair. The nice paradox right here is that the very factor social media intends to do — join us — may need the alternative impact, as a substitute driving isolation and loneliness though we expect we’re linked to others. 

9. Low Self-Esteem

Folks with low ranges of self-worth usually tend to expertise persistent or persistent loneliness — low shallowness has even been linked to feeling lonely in studies. Evidently emotions of worthlessness and concern about how others understand you’ll be able to stop deep connections in your life. 

“Analysis research present that low shallowness and loneliness can affect each other. Shallowness can result in emotions of loneliness when people understand lack of acceptance from others.”

Talkspace therapist Dr. Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW

What to Do When You Really feel So Lonely

It’s necessary to do not forget that loneliness isn’t an indication of weak spot. Recognizing your emotions is the primary and most necessary step you’ll be able to take towards bettering detrimental ideas tied to loneliness.

Acknowledge your emotions

Acknowledging your feelings and emotions performs a major position in emotional well-being. Figuring out whenever you’re lonely or feeling disconnected from others can alleviate among the misery you’re experiencing.

Be part of a assist group

Assist teams will be highly effective sources. They will can help you spend time with others with the same relationship with loneliness. The consolation you achieve from these social assist conferences would possibly even provide help to overcome among the emotional isolation you expertise and even make a brand new pal within the course of.

“It’s helpful to hitch a assist group if you happen to really feel lonely. It permits you to join with new individuals who could also be sharing related emotions and might perceive what you’re going by way of. The group can result in shared drawback fixing, studying about useful group sources, and gaining a way of belonging.”

Talkspace therapist Dr. Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW

Work out

Understanding will increase endorphins, recognized temper enhancers that can provide you power and motivation to interrupt out of your cycle of loneliness.

Get entangled or volunteer 

Getting concerned or volunteering will provide help to make social connections effortlessly, permitting you to step by step develop into mentally stronger and extra prepared to achieve out to others.

Do yoga & meditate

Yoga and mindfulness meditation assist middle you, so you’ll be able to give attention to the current, relatively than fear in regards to the previous or the longer term. Each actions profit psychological well-being by decreasing stress, bettering total temper, and protecting you grounded — all of that are methods to fight emotions of loneliness.


Studies have demonstrated that journaling is an efficient technique for enhancing psychological well being. Journaling for mental health can foster emotional regulation and provide help to establish detrimental ideas and habits patterns that may contribute to social isolation.

Hold a structured routine

People thrive on routine. Sustaining construction can provide stability and reassurance, even in periods of loneliness.

Speak By means of Your Emotions at Talkspace

Feeling lonely can stem from a wide range of causes. Missing significant connections in your life can intensify these emotions. In the event you’re feeling very lonely, Talkspace is an online therapy platform that may provide instruments like individualized remedy and coping strategies that will help you deal with loneliness

Attain out to Talkspace right this moment to be taught extra about taking steps towards understanding your loneliness. With assist, you can discover a method to construct stable and significant connections that finally give you a more healthy psychological state.


  1. Steen OD, Ori AP, Wardenaar KJ, van Lavatory HM. Loneliness Associates strongly with nervousness and despair throughout the COVID pandemic, particularly in males and youthful adults. Scientific Experiences. 2022;12(1). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-022-13049-9. Accessed August 19, 2023.  
  2. Pantic I. On-line social networking and Psychological Well being. Cyberpsychology, Conduct, and Social Networking. 2014;17(10):652-657. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2014.0070. Accessed August 19, 2023. 
  3. Szcześniak M, Bielecka G, Madej D, Pieńkowska E, Rodzeń W. <P>the position of shallowness within the relationship between loneliness and life satisfaction in late maturity: Proof from Poland</p>. Psychology Analysis and Conduct Administration. 2020;Quantity 13:1201-1212. doi:10.2147/prbm.s275902. https://doi.org/10.2147/prbm.s275902. Accessed August 19, 2023. 

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